Trembling Fire
by foxspy
Summary: "Both of them have spent too long simply waiting for their flesh to serve their sentences." Azula wants her throne back, and as a result Ty Lee is sucked into a sinister plan that involves damaging everyone who gets in their way.
1. Chess

**A/N:** I fell in love with this ship and felt compelled to write a story about Ty Lee and Azula. This is a "pilot" chapter to experiment a little and decide where I should take this fic.

**Pairing:** Ty Lee/Azula

**Rated:** M for language, future sexual content, violence, abusive and dark themes.

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><p><strong>Chapter One<strong>

**Chess**

* * *

><p>Like a bad smoking habit, Azula is going to take years off Ty Lee's life.<p>

"He asked me to marry him, Azula," Ty Lee says, her voice weak and faltering.

She is tired, and knows it won't get any better with a good night's sleep.

The princess laughs as she leans against the wall in her cell, her shackles making sharp clanging sounds as they trail behind her.

"Congratulations, Ty Lee," Azula smirks, her eyes looking just as sinister as her lips. "Of course you're going through with it right? We've come this far after all."

Ty Lee feels nauseous. She doesn't know whether she is more disgusted by herself or Azula at this point.

"Azula, he really has feelings for me now," She says in a small voice. Ty Lee doesn't want to enrage the princess, but she is treading a fine line.

"That doesn't surprise me. You _are_ quite the catch."

Sharp sounds of metal chains rang through the small dungeon again as Azula moves towards her. Ty Lee regrets entering her cell. She should have stayed on the other side of the bars.

But now Azula's arms are wrapped around her waist, and she does away with her regret. She looks every bit as beautiful rotting in a prison cell as she does sitting on a throne.

Azula's lips are on her neck, leaving soft kisses trailing up to her ear.

"I'm lying to him, Azula. I'm going to break his heart," Ty Lee murmurs sadly, unconsciously leaning in to Azula's touch.

"Since when do you care about him and his feelings?" Azula's tone is tainted with jealousy. "Zuko is deluding himself if he really thinks that you of all people can be in love with him. After all, you've always been mine, and he knows that. He ought to know by now that people don't change."

Azula runs her hand possessively through her hair. Her scalp tingles under her touch, and Azula's lips are too close to hers to think of what to say.

"I like it when you wear your hair down like this. It's much more flattering."

Azula kisses her, biting her lip slightly too hard.

"When I agreed to do this I didn't know it would be this way. I want to help you, Azula. I want to be with you. I don't want you to live out the rest of your days in prison. I want to see you thrive, and become Fire Lord. But I just don't want to hurt Zuko in the process—"

Azula gives her a disgusted look.

"You're hurting _me_, Ty Lee," Azula tries to feign sadness, though she's clearly more angry than upset. "If you don't go through with this you are a trader, and therefore I don't need you in my life. If you know what's good for you, stick to our plan."

"Don't you realize how hard this is on me?" Ty Lee is yelling now, her tone shocking even herself. "I'm giving up my life for you. I'm doing all of this for you. I think I'm allowed to be considerate of how he might feel about this when he finds out."

"You've fallen in love with him," Azula says too calmly. But her fingernails are digging sharply into Ty Lee's arms.

"No! Of course not!" The acrobat recoils with distaste, but Azula's grip is like iron.

"Then you've been fucking him."

"No, Azula how could you think that—"

"Then you will do this for me," Azula commands as if she is already Firelord. "You've done a decent job so far. You've gotten close to him, which is exactly what I wanted. Once he makes you Fire Lady, everything else will go much smoother."

Azula is the smoke in her lungs, silently killing her everyday. Yet, like a cigarette Ty Lee is addicted to it.

"You're right. I'm sorry princess," Ty Lee says, hating herself more with each syllable.

It feels like a game of chess, Azula is the king, and she is a mere pawn. Though, she desperately tries to believe she's the queen.

Azula gives a smile that chills the acrobat to her core. Sick, twisted things make her genuinely happy. The two of them aren't so different after all.

"You're going to make a perfect Fire Lady, especially when you are _my_ Fire Lady," The princess kisses her again. "Besides, Zuko will be dead before he ever gets the chance to realize you betrayed him."

With disgust, the acrobat slaps away Azula's hands and paces to the other end of the cell.

"Azula, stop it! You said you wouldn't kill him," Ty Lee yells, crossing her arms like a pouting toddler.

"I can't make any promises, you know how these things are. You have to be flexible," Azula sighs, smoothing her blouse with indifference.

"Have you ever told the truth about anything?" Ty Lee asks, her voice shaking.

She is at her breaking point with Azula's lies. The acrobat can't handle any more plot twists. Every conversation with Azula is either elating or emotionally devastating. There really can never be an in between.

She composes herself quietly in the corner of the cell. She doesn't want to say any of the wrong things that would send Azula into a violent rage. Her face flushes in embarrassment as she imagines how much Azula must be mocking her weakness. Suddenly fingers are interlocking hers, and familiar lips settle on her mouth.

"I really can't do this with you anymore," Ty Lee murmurs with honesty, turning her face away from the princess.

"Then why are you still holding my hand?"

The acrobat says nothing, and keeps her hand where it is. Her face is buried into Azula's greasy hair, and she remembers how she used to wash it when they showered together in the palace. She decides that if she wants that life again, she must obey Azula.

"When I tell you I love you, it's not a lie," Azula whispers into her ear, her hot breath causing Ty Lee to melt like putty her arms.

Ty Lee wants to believe her. So she does.

She knows their love isn't healthy. It is too forced, too manipulative. They both threaten to leave each other too often. Yet, she always ends up in the same cell, where the two are either fighting, fucking or do both simultaneously. Both of them have spent too long simply waiting for their flesh to serve their sentences. They want to live, and in each other they found life, even if it is completely insane.

"I love you too. It's just—" The acrobat hesitates, "you can be really unpredictable."

"I think that's exactly why you love me, Ty Lee."


	2. Fear

**Chapter Two**

**Fear**

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><p>That evening Ty Lee runs a brush through her wet, tangled hair. She's sitting on the Fire Lord's bed in a suite that feels far too large to be anything less than a small house. The sheets are made of scarlet red silk, and all she can think about is how the color reminds her of Azula's favorite shade of lipstick.<p>

"Let me do that for you," Zuko offers quietly, breaking their silence. He is lying on the bed next to her, watching her curiously. He has the same exotic gold eyes as Azula, yet they lack the intensity.

Without a word, Ty Lee hands him the brush and the bed shifts under her as he crawls behind her. He runs the brush through her hair, and she closes her eyes as the excess bath water drips onto her bare shoulders.

"Mm, thank you. That feels really nice," She says, smiling genuinely though he can't see it. "How was your day today?"

"It was pretty dull. I was stuck in meetings all day, and the migraine I woke up with only got progressively worse," He sighs and continues. " I also received a letter from the Avatar. Aang and his wife will be staying with us for a few days this month."

"That's—pretty interesting," Ty Lee says, inwardly dreading the news. It is hard enough to feign a relationship with Zuko without other people analyzing her every move. Aang and Katara don't exactly trust her since she's always been associated with Azula. She decides she will have to try extra hard around them.

"Have you given my question any more thought?" Zuko changes the subject, his free hand touching her waist gently. His presence feels familiar now, and it's no longer uncomfortable like it was when they first started spending time together.

She's starting to enjoy being with him. Or maybe it's only the attention she enjoys.

Her heart is racing, and her palms are overly moist.

She can run away if she wants to. She can choose to not do this. She can leave both Azula and Zuko, and never have to involve herself in their twisted political affairs again. Yet the acrobat's lips move before she can change her mind, and like always she chooses Azula.

"I have," She forces herself to answer. "And I want to do it, I want to marry you. "

"So, you'll be my Fire Lady," Zuko says, the corners of his mouth forming a small smile.

"Yes, of course."

Then his lips are on hers, and he's kissing her softly. Warm, wet and overflowing with the sorrows of the day.

"I love you," He tells her too sweetly, and Ty Lee feels nauseous.

The only love she feels comfortable accepting is risky, unstable and devastating.

And maybe that's exactly what she deserves.

She repeats the three words back to him with a small smile, hoping he believes her. A part of her wants them to be genuine though they can never be.

Her lips find his once more.

It feels wrong. It is wrong. Yet, he looks so much like Azula and she can convince herself to like it. In the many weeks between her visits to the prison she finds his company to be exactly what she needs. Ty Lee was using him just like Azula was, and she hates herself for it.

But she melts into his touch, secretly glad that it's perfectly normal for people to kiss with their eyes closed.

* * *

><p><em>Two years ago Azula's cold fingertips tracing are tracing Ty Lee's bare chest. They are in the same prison cell, yet it feels like a paradise. She is rarely able to see Azula as security is tight, and the prisoner visitor requests take over a month to process. She savors the brief moments they have together. <em>

_"I need you to do something important for me," Azula says, staring blankly at the mildew-ridden ceiling of the dungeon. _

_"Anything, princess," Ty Lee tells her in a low whisper, though a part of her immediately regrets it. She's in a post sex daze, and completely distracted by Azula's naked form next to her. The acrobat is not thinking clearly. _

_"I need you to get close to Zuko," She whispers, her fingers trailing down her lower abdomen. Ty Lee shivers under her touch, finding it hard not to be momentarily distracted. She's naked, cold and vulnerable, and like a rabid animal, Azula feeds on fear. _

_"What? Why?" The acrobat murmurs shooing away Azula's hands, and interlocking their fingers. _

_"You want me to get out of prison someday don't you? You want us to be together right?" Azula kisses her softly, the grip on her hands tightening. The princess knows all the right buttons to push. _

_"Yes, of course, princess," She answers slowly. The acrobat buries her face in the crook of Azula's neck, afraid she might express disobedience in her eyes by mistake. _

_ "Well then I need you to do this for me with as few questions as possible. I need you to trust me," She purrs, gently rubbing her thumb across the acrobat's wrist. _

_Trusting Azula is like cutting her flesh open in an ocean full of sharks, and hoping they won't smell the blood. _

_"I do trust you," Ty Lee whispers, hoping that by saying it out loud she can convince herself it's true. _

_She has to trust harder, and fear less. _

_"Get close to him, win him over, and eventually I want you to date him," The princess continues, tracing Ty Lee's jaw line with her fingertips. "It shouldn't be hard considering how sexy you are."_

_"But Azula, I can't do that—"_

_"Well certainly not with that attitude. I thought you were supposed to be an optimist," Azula is sitting up now, peering down at the acrobat like her prey. Her golden eyes are wide and manic. Ty Lee swears the room raises a few degrees. "You have to, Ty Lee. I told you to trust me."_

_"Then what happens after I do that?" The acrobat asks, bringing her knees to her chest. Azula looks like a rattlesnake about to strike. _

_"You need to ask him if he'll free me from this disgusting excuse for a prison."_

_"I already have, princess. I've begged him many times."_

_"Then you'll have to make him. I'm sure you can find a way. You can be clever sometimes—"The princess hesitates. " You know what, never mind. Just report everything back to me and I'll tell you what to do next. " _

_"Okay, I'll try," Ty Lee decides with a heavy sigh. _

_"Trying is for losers, Ty Lee. You have to actually do it. You cannot fail," Azula snaps, though it sounds like she's talking more to herself now. _

_This is the girl Ty Lee loves. _

_"I will do it," The acrobat says, and finally, it's what Azula wants to hear. _

_She kisses the acrobat hard on the lips, as she pushes her down to the dungeon floor. The stone is cool and moist on Ty Lee's back. The princess is straddling her now, pushing her hands above her head. Even though she's in shackles and chains, Azula always likes to be the dominant one. _

_"Just don't you dare think about fucking him," The princess whispers, as she grazes the acrobat's ear with her lips and tongue. "Because you're mine."_

_Ty Lee's lips part, unable to come up with a response._

_Azula moves down her body with her lips brushing her abdomen along the way, and kisses her inner thighs. Azula's tongue licks her outer labia, and settles on her clit. _

_Ty Lee inhales sharply, and the dungeon smells like the air before a storm._

* * *

><p>Zuko hates Ember Island, but more specifically, the beach. He hates the way the sand and grit sticks to his skin and makes him feel in an immediate need of a bath. Yet, today the sand is damp with rain from the evening before, and more complacent than usual, so he finds himself tolerating it.<p>

He also really needs the vacation, even if it is just for a few days.

He is walking with Ty Lee along the shoreline. The ocean unnaturally captivates her, and Zuko wonders if she is actually from the Fire Nation.

"Check out this one!" She beams, shoving yet another shell in his face.

He sighs and inspects it carefully.

"Ty Lee, this one looks exactly the same as the last ten you showed me."

"No! It has pink on the inside. Look!" She demands, crossing her arms dramatically.

"Yes, it's very nice," He murmurs, handing it back to her. The shell has a slight hue of pink to it on the inside, but it is still nothing noteworthy. "Maybe we should find another beach that actually has a different kinds of shells available so your collection can have some variety."

Ty Lee's eyes light up immediately.

"Yeah, that's a great idea!" She beams, aggressively chucking the shell back into the ocean.

Zuko hides a smile. Her innocence is endearing.

"For our honeymoon, maybe," He adds slowly, looking down at the cold water swirling between his toes.

"Yeah."

Ty Lee doesn't collect any more shells that day.


	3. Vitality

**Chapter Three**

**Life**

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><p>Azula paces the length of her small cell, shackles and chains violently dragging behind her with each motion. She's screaming out loud, to no one in particular. Weak, cerulean flames spout from her fingertips, giving her no satisfaction. She's too physically restricted to properly firebend, and grossly out of shape. Azula attempts to kick and punch the air though the restraints, her hollow shrieks echoing through the dungeon. She's completely isolated, and going mad within her own mind.<p>

It has been days, weeks or maybe even months since Ty Lee last visited her.

She does not know. The isolation makes her lose track of time.

Breakfast, lunch and dinner are always the same: moldy bread and expired soup. Azula doesn't eat, or at least tries not to. Once in a while she will give into her biological urges, but in the end she hates herself for it. She hopes to starve herself so thin, that maybe she'll just disappear.

She kicks over the empty soup bowl, and it shatters across the floor.

Tears threaten to fall, and she doesn't care since no one is around to see them.

She decides Ty Lee is going to betray her. _Again._

She will abandon her for Zuko, or maybe a less fucked up family altogether. Azula is too mentally unstable, or maybe Ty Lee isn't as loyal as she has led her to believe. Either way, she feels like she's being left. For that, she hates Ty Lee and thinks too often about ripping her throat out. She's really terrible at being in love.

If only she didn't come up with that stupid plan that involved pimping out her girlfriend. She did this to herself and she knows it. She hates for self for it. Yet, she hates Ty Lee even more.

Azula knows her life has become a sick pattern. She convinces herself that she will never see Ty Lee again, but she always does. Though each time she time she visits, it feels like the last. It's much more than just love. It's an addiction.

_ "Then you've been fucking him." _

_"No, Azula how could you think that—"_

She is convinced that Ty Lee and Zuko are sleeping together. Ty Lee is a liar, and an idiot if she thinks Azula didn't pick up on her slight change of voice inflection in her answer. Maybe a normal person would have missed it, but not her. She has too much idle time to think about such things.

The princess feels nauseous, and she scolds herself again for having the bowl of soup.

She worries that Ty Lee liked it. She worries that she can't please her like Zuko does.

How ironic it would be if the only thing Zuko does better than her is have sex with Ty Lee.

She should call it off, and tell the acrobat to leave Zuko alone.

But the temptation of freedom and power is too strong, and Azula desires those things much more than any relationship. She always has. She will finish what she started even if it destroys her soul.

The acrobat's words loop in her mind over and over. She can't stop analyzing. She can't stop obsessing. Their conversations are all she has, and Ty Lee's voice is the only one she hears besides her own.

She picks up a shard from the shattered ceramic bowl and tenderly strokes it with her fingers. Again she decides Ty Lee isn't coming back, and that it doesn't matter.

"Fucking whore," She whispers, holding the shard above her wrist. It glides smoothly across her skin, drops of blood emerging at the surface.

In the pain she finds relief.

This is Azula's life.

* * *

><p><em>Ty Lee and Azula are fourteen-years-old getting drunk for the first time. They made a cocktail of various liquors Azula stole from the palace kitchen, and hold their noses as they gulp it down. <em>

_"This is disgusting. I don't know why people drink this stuff," Ty Lee says, gagging as she rapidly fans her face. It's suddenly so hot. _

_"I don't know either," Azula laughs, falling lazily into her bed. "It's a good thing we tried this out now so we don't do this again. I feel kind of weird."_

_"That's called being drunk," Ty Lee giggles and Azula rolls her eyes. They both are lying next to each other, their bodies slightly touching._

_"I'm not drunk," Azula snaps, crossing her arms. "I just kind of feel warm and happy."_

_"Yeah, you're drunk."_

_"Well how do you know so much about this kind of stuff?" Azula asks, burying her face into a pillow. _

_"My parents," Ty Lee says simply, rubbing her arm. _

_"Oh," Azula doesn't know what else to say. _

_"I can kind of see why people drink. This is nice," Ty Lee whispers, unsure if it's the alcohol she likes or the fact that she's laying so close to Azula. _

_"It is," Azula agrees, turning to face the acrobat. "Why are you smiling at me like that?"_

_"You're pretty," Ty Lee is slurring her words now, pulling the sheets up to her chin. _

_"I know," Azula agrees, closing her eyes. This is all too much. The room is spinning slightly. "I've never kissed a boy before though."_

_"Neither have I," Ty Lee says in a worried voice. "I think I'm going to be bad at it."_

_Ty Lee stares at Azula's lips, thankful her eyes are closed. Though the room is dark, her face is flushed in moonlight. _

_"Why?" Azula asks, messaging her temples in an attempt to make the drunkenness go away. She doesn't like feeling out of control. _

_"Well I've never done it before. Aren't you usually bad at something the first time you try it?"_

_"I'm not, but you might be," Azula manages to say smoothly, despite her upset stomach. _

_Ty Lee scoots closer to Azula and kisses her softly on the lips. Then she quickly pulls away and touches her fingers to her lips. _

_"Was it bad?" Ty Lee asks, trying hard to focus on one of the Azulas she sees in her double vision. _

_"Terrible," Azula sighs, shaking her head. "You have no passion or technique. You have to really want it."_

_The princess grabs the acrobats face and their lips meet feverishly. It's warm, wet and filled with an intensity that shocks even Azula. She accidentally bites Ty Lees lip and suddenly their tongues are at war. Azula's stomach is doing flip-flops and she's not sure it's the alcohol anymore. _

_"See, now that was a kiss," She smirks, pulling away quite satisfied with herself. _

_"Could you show me that again?" Ty Lee whispers, pulling Azula back to her by the hem of her robe. _

_Their lips meet again, and Ty Lee is unsure about who leaned in first. But it doesn't matter. Their closeness is intoxicating and Azula feels like home. _

_Their kiss deepens as the princess clumsily rolls on top of her, pinning Ty Lee's arms above her head. Her lips find her neck, biting and sucking, sending chills down her core. She doesn't know what she's doing, but it feels natural. It feels primal. _

_A moan escapes the acrobat's lips, and Azula decides she loves that sound. _

_They'll both deny it the morning, and pretend it never happened. But in the moment, this moment, they want it to last forever._

* * *

><p>Ty Lee drinks her tea awkwardly in the Fire Nation palace. She's sitting across from Katara at the breakfast table, trying to keep herself as composed as possible. She makes a mental note to bug Zuko later for leaving her alone with the water bender. He knows they aren't exactly friends.<p>

"So um, what brings you and Aang to the Fire Nation?" She decides to break their silence, finally making eye contact with the Avatar's wife. Katara looks as uncomfortable as Ty Lee feels.

"Well, I'm pregnant," Katara states with a small smile. "And Aang and I wanted to ask Zuko if he would be the God father of our child."

"Wow, congratulations!" Ty Lee exclaims, almost choking on her tea. "That's amazing—I mean wow. I'm sure Zuko is going to be so happy."

"Thank you," Katara says, leaning forward in her chair to add another scoop of sugar into her cup. "But I'm already four months along so it's definitely old news to me. I should be the one congratulating you on your engagement."

Ty Lee outwardly flinches, but the luckily waterbender doesn't notice.

"Thank you! Yeah, um, we are engaged. We are both really excited," Ty Lee beams, plastering a huge, painful smile on her face. "Wait, how did you find out?"

"Ty Lee, everyone knows. It's not every day that the Fire Lord gets engaged," Katara laughs, smoothing her blouse. Ty Lee notices her slight baby bump.

"Oh, right."

She stares too long at Katara's protruding abdomen, fearing the possibility of being pregnant with Zuko's baby in the future. She isn't sure exactly how far Azula wants her to take this marriage thing.

"Please don't take any offense to this, but I was not expecting the two of you to end up together. He was always dating that one girl—"

"Mai," Ty Lee finishes, the name leaving a bad taste in her mouth. Her stomach twists, and Katara can tell she hit a touchy subject.

"I'm sorry," Katara apologizes, sipping her tea nervously. "I shouldn't have mentioned that. That was incredibly rude. I'm just pregnant, tired and a little delusional."

"It's okay," Ty Lee shrugs, crossing her arms. "Everyone thinks our relationship was unexpected."

"The best relationships usually are," Katara says pointedly. "One day you realize the person you are meant to be with was right there with you all along."

"Is that how it was with you and Aang?" Ty Lee asks, trying to steer the conversation away from her relationship with Zuko.

"I think so," Katara answers with a slight nod. "It was very gradual, and one sided for a while. Then one day I just knew I needed him."

"That's a wonderful love story," Ty Lee forces a smile, looking at the door way across the room. She prays that Zuko will walk in and save her before she throws up.

"You and Zuko knew each other since childhood right?"

"Yeah we have," Ty Lee says, suddenly feeling claustrophobic. "He always just knew me as Azula's friend, but down the line it evolved from there, with Zuko I mean."

Ty Lee shifts uncomfortably in her chair, and fidgets with the bracelets on her wrists. She has never been smooth like Azula, and wants to just run out of the room.

"That's how it should be. The relationships that start off with that obsessive craving and intensity don't last. It's unhealthy. In the end you have to love what's good for you. At least that's what my Gran Gran used to tell me."

"That's wise advice," Ty Lee says quietly before taking a sip of her tea. It's cold.

"So how exactly did you and Zuko start to become romantically involved?" Katara asks inquisitively and Ty Lee is clears her throat so she won't stutter.

"He saved my life."


	4. Constriction

**Chapter Four**

**Constriction**

* * *

><p>"Pardon me, Fire Lord Zuko. There is an emergency that requires your immediate attention," A fire nation soldier enters the palace dining room, shifting his weight uncomfortably as he waits for Zuko to excuse himself.<p>

Zuko apologizes to the Avatar and his wife as he leaves the table, and silently hopes that the fire nation isn't being attacked. He has really been looking forward to dessert that evening, and apparently it's blueberry cobbler.

Ty Lee has a worried look on her face, and she quickly stands to follow him out into the hallway.

"You should wait with Aang and Katara so they don't get concerned," Zuko says, hearing her footsteps behind him. "It's probably nothing worth spoiling dinner over."

"If I'm going to be the future Fire Lady I need to be involved in these things," Ty Lee whispers, and Zuko can't help but give a small smile.

The soldier looks eerily familiar and Ty Lee can't quiet figure out where she's seen him before. "What's the emergency? Are we under attack or something? The Avatar actually is visiting us right now so we have quite the advantage—"

"Lady Ty Lee, you are friends with princess Azula, correct?" He interrupts her suddenly, and she can already feel the unwelcome adrenaline washing through her veins. "You visited her in prison not too long ago right?"

He's one of the prison guards.

Ty Lee recalls seeing him before when she went to visit Azula. Her face flushes a bright pink, and she prays the walls within the dungeon are soundproof. She knows the fire nation guards choose not to involve themselves in the personal affairs of the royal family, but still…

She pushes the thought out of her mind, and purses her lips with indifference. "Yes—that's correct. I did visit her. Why are you asking about Azula?"

The guard clears his throat.

"She's attempted to take her own life. We found her with bloody wrists in her prison cell. She could have died from the blood loss, if not an infection. Fire Lord Zuko we need you to…"

Ty Lee looks like she's about to faint, and she can no longer concentrate on what the guard is saying.

Azula is one to personally slaughter innocent woman and children if it means getting ahead. Or completely destroy the fire nation because if she can't have it, no one can. Or start a war because someone looked at her the wrong way.

She wouldn't try to commit suicide because she loves herself more than anything or anyone. She's strong. It doesn't sound like Azula. It must not be her. It can't be her.

"You must have made a mistake. I just saw her a week ago and she seemed perfectly fine. Well maybe not fine, but at least normal. Are—are you sure it was Azula?" Ty Lee asks weakly, and she has to look at the ceiling to stop the tears that threaten to fall. "You're absolutely positive?"

The guard nods, and begins speaking to Zuko. She tries to follow the conversation, but she can only picture Azula in the cold, unforgiving dungeon slitting her wrists. The image loops in her mind, and suddenly the acrobat tastes blood. She is biting her lower lip too hard, and her fingernails are digging into the flesh of her palms.

She blinks twice and realizes both the guard and Zuko are staring at her. They must have asked her a question.

"What?" She swallows the giant lump in her throat. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Are you okay?" Zuko repeats himself, his thumb rubbing the outer bone of her wrist. He's trying to hold her hand, but she's still clenching her fists too hard.

"I—I don't know," She answers slowly, feeling overwhelmingly dissociated from her body. "Where is—how is she?"

The guard taps his foot impatiently as if the world can continue on despite Azula's suicide attempt. "She's in a stable condition for the time being, but the cuts in her wrists were extensive. She managed to completely severe one of her veins…"

Again Ty Lee tunes out. Not purposefully, but over the years it's become her brain's natural defense mechanism. It's probably how she's been able to put up with Azula's verbal abuse all this time. But now Azula clearly wants to die, and Ty Lee can't imagine the reason.

"Please inform the Avatar and his wife of the current events, and ask Katara if she will be able to help with Azula's injuries. She is one of the best healers I know," Zuko orders the guard, his eyes still not leaving Ty Lee.

She has turned completely pale and is visibly shaking. He wants to hold her and tell her it will be okay, but Ty Lee has an attachment to Azula he will never understand. Not that he necessarily wants to. The two of them have been friends for years and over time the acrobat must have discovered something worth sticking around for. The thought of Azula actually having redeeming qualities makes him feel uncomfortable. He's known her since she was born and still hasn't figured out how to love, or even remotely care about her. Maybe Ty Lee is just a significantly better person than he is, and all his sister needs is a chance.

With a nod, the guard heads into the dinning room to fetch the water bender, and the only sound filling the hallway is the acrobat's quiet sobs. She tries to steady her breathing, but bringing awareness to it only makes it worse.

"She's receiving medical treatment now. It looks like she's going to make it, but she is obviously very mentally unstable," Zuko tells her again, aware that she probably didn't hear the first time. He rubs her back awkwardly, unsure of why anyone would cry over Azula. Cry from pain or fear maybe, but not cry _over_.

"Can—can I see her?" Ty Lee asks with a shaking voice, her arms are wrapped around herself as if it's the only thing keeping her from falling apart. "I want to make sure she's okay."

"That's probably not a good idea, Ty Lee," Zuko touches her arm and she jerks it away instinctively. "I'm sorry, but the guard said she is very dangerous at the moment. She's apparently trying bite anyone that comes near her. They're going to have to give her a tranquilizer."

"Please… I'm her only friend right now. She probably needs me," Ty Lee says in a small voice. She's squeezing his hand tightly now and Zuko can only sigh. "She won't hurt me, she'll tell me what's wrong," Ty Lee hates the fact that she's lying to herself. Azula doesn't _need_ anyone. She _wants_, and only on her own terms.

"When she's in a stable condition I'm going to move her into the palace. She's going to stay with us, but under constant surveillance. You can see her then if you want to," Zuko declares, unable to watch his fiancé sob for much longer. He hates to see her so upset, especially over Azula. It only makes him resent his sister more. "But you do realize this is probably a desperate cry for attention right?"

"What—what are you saying?"

"I mean we both know Azula and what she is capable of. Do you really think she is the type to try and off herself randomly? You even said yourself she seemed fine. She probably just wants something from us. Knowing Azula, she grew tired of the dungeon and wanted to find a way out."

Ty Lee parts her lips, but doesn't know what to say. It isn't just an act anymore. Azula has completely lost her mind, and it truly scares her.

"How could you say that?" She's yelling now, clumsily wiping the hot tears from her cheeks. "She's your sister for fucks sake! She almost died and you're worried that she is just looking for attention?"

"Look, maybe I worded that wrong, but I can't help but suspect something. I don't understand why you always have to take her side in everything. I mean just look at your leg! Look at that burn mark, and that will tell you what a great friend she has been to you!"

"I told you it was an accident," The acrobat says sharply, and she can't believe Zuko is doing this now.

"Yeah, some accident," Zuko rolls his eyes. "_You_ almost died! She is and always will be mentally unstable. She's my own sister and even I don't—"

"Just stop, Zuko," Ty Lee says in a nasty tone that she instantly regrets. She doesn't want to hurt Zuko anymore than she already has, but he's inevitably in her and Azula's crossfire. "Look, I think I've had enough for tonight. I'm going to take a much needed shower, and I really just need to be alone right now okay?"

His lips turn into a frown, but it's not anything Ty Lee can deal with tonight.

Her heels clack dramatically against the marble floors as she storms off to their bathroom. She practically rips her dress off her body and hurdles it against the floor as she curses Azula's name under her breath. Her naked body trembles violently as she waits for the water to heat, and she can finally allow herself to cry as much as she wants.

The acrobat brings her knees to her chest as she sits on the shower floor. The thick steam immediately fills her nostrils, and the hot water cascades slowly down her shoulder blades. She should feel better, but for whatever reason the physical repose makes her feel even worse. Azula is suffering, and for some sick reason Ty Lee feels like she should be suffering too.

If only she could realize she already is.

* * *

><p><em>"You know, they say an orgasm is a natural painkiller," Azula says smoothly, rubbing her finger nail down Ty Lee's thigh. "And I want to make this as bearable for you as possible." <em>

_"No, no. Just do it. Just get it over with," Ty Lee whines, scrunching her face to prepare for the pain. "I'm just going to get more scared if we keep postponing this."_

_Azula leans over her quivering body and kisses her hard on the lips. _

_"The guards are all going to rush in as soon as they hear you scream, so make sure you remember what to do."_

_"Yeah, yeah I got it," The acrobat says quickly, closing her eyes."Just do it fast."_

_"Very well then," Azula is shaking slightly, nervous about what she's about to do. She inhales sharply and tries to block out all distractions. _

_Then a burst of cerulean flames erupt through the room, and Ty Lee lets out a piercing shriek that makes the hairs stand up on the back of Azula's neck. _

_There's blood mixed with exposed flesh, and the firebender immediately feels sick. It wasn't supposed to be that powerful. It wasn't supposed to cut that deep. But her fire was never gentle, and she has only learned to bend the most deadly temperatures. She immediately realizes this was a horrible mistake. _

_"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," The princess is frantically trying to cover the wound she inflicted on the acrobat. "Fuck, I'm so sorry. Ty Lee, please answer me. Ty Lee please fucking answer me! Ty Lee!" She's screaming, and her girlfriend won't open her eyes. _

_Seconds later the guards rush in and have her restrained. They carry the lifeless acrobat away from her, and Azula can only let out deafening cries as she's forcefully held down. _

_But Ty Lee doesn't respond, and Azula has never known such an awful silence._


	5. Decisions

A/N: I'd like to genuinely thank everyone who has been following/reviewing this story so far. Your kind words and encouragement give me motivation to keep this story going :) The past few chapters have been rather dark, and for that I apologize (not sure if you are or aren't into that!) I hope you enjoy where the plot is going, and again thank you so much for the support. Love you all 3

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Five<strong>

**Decisions**

* * *

><p>Azula wakes suddenly from the loud knocking on her bedroom door. She groans as she pulls the covers over her head. She forgot to close her curtains the evening before, and the sunlight is absolutely blinding.<p>

She cannot recall a time she felt more comfortable. She's finally in her own bed, wrapped in her familiar silk sheets and plush blankets. It's significantly better than sleeping on the frigid dungeon floor, with only flea-infested rags for warmth.

Who knew mental instability could have its perks.

"Go away," She groans, squeezing her eyes shut and covering her ears.

"Azula, we need to talk."

It's Ty Lee's voice, and she doesn't sound happy.

The princess slowly removes the covers from her face, and stares at her girlfriend who is now awkwardly sitting at the foot of her bed. To say she looks like shit is a severe understatement. She has heavy bags under her eyes, and her hair is matted and greasy.

Then again, Azula probably doesn't look all that great either since she still hasn't left her bed after arriving at the palace last night. She could definitely use a shower.

"Do you need something?" She asks with a yawn. "It's very rude to wake people up when they need their beauty sleep."

Ty Lee wears a stone cold expression and for the first time Azula is slightly afraid of her.

"Do I need something?" Ty Lee blinks twice, mocking her question. "Do I need something? Are you kidding me Azula? You—you've lost your mind. You almost died a few days ago and now you're going to pretend like nothing happened? You've got to be fucking kidding me!"

Azula can't help but laugh because for some sick reason she finds the situation to be quite humorous.

"Seriously, calm yourself," She snaps, and Ty Lee looks like she's about to explode. "I've just been released after years in that filthy prison and this is how you welcome me home?"

"Calm myself?" Ty Lee is seething. "You tried to commit suicide! You completely butchered your wrists, and almost died. Now you want me to 'calm myself'? "

The princess examines her wrists, and they are bandaged all the way up to her elbows. Azula doesn't remember cutting herself, and isn't sure if that's a good or bad thing.

"I don't know what you want me to say," She says, sitting up in her bed and her injuries sting as she puts weight on her hands.

"Tell me why," Ty Lee orders, her voice cracking slightly. Azula knows she should be taking her more seriously, but can't help but ridicule Ty Lee for being so invested in the situation. It really is none of her business.

"Why what?"

"Tell me why you tried to fucking kill yourself!" Ty Lee is screaming now with tears breaking from the corners of her eyes. "Why would you do that? What made you think it was okay to leave me to deal with all this by myself? I don't know what I would do if you left me—permanently. I don't think I could do it. I don't think I could survive without you."

Azula sighs. She is well acquainted with the acrobat's abandonment issues.

"I really don't know," She says slowly, picking at her bandages. "I started freaking out, and I guess I got carried away—Don't look at me like that! You can't take this so personally."

"What were you freaking out about?"

"I can't remember," Azula lies smoothly as always. Life is complicated enough without Ty Lee knowing about her _own_ qualms with abandonment.

"Azula you can tell me these things," Ty Lee's voice is softer now. The acrobat is never mad for long and prefers to coddle Azula rather than discipline her. "You can trust me."

Azula doesn't trust people, not even those she loves.

"I know," the princess purrs, patting the bed next to her. "Now come cuddle with me, it's been far too long since we've been in this bed together."

Ty Lee hesitates, but eventually does what she's told and curls up against Azula. She has her arms wrapped around the firebender like she's clinging for dear life, and Azula can't help but smirk. It feels good to know someone depends on her. Especially the same someone who has Zuko wrapped around her finger. She can't wait for the day Zuko's little heart is shattered by Ty Lee. As petty as it might be, she relishes the small victories.

"Don't leave me. Don't ever do something so stupid again," Ty Lee sniffs, and Azula wipes the sticky tears from her girlfriend's cheeks.

"I won't," Azula says, but in the back of her mind she knows it's not a promise. She really _doesn't_ remember cutting herself. She doesn't remember all the blood that all the doctors were whining about. She was blacked out for the event. All she remembers is what came before the violence.

Abandonment issues_. Ugh._

There is no way she can handle Ty Lee's insecurities without fixing her own first. Perhaps that's why they are such a messy couple.

It was another psychotic break, but she won't admit it to herself. Now it's been twice that she's had a break from reality, and the thought terrifies her.

"Azula I—"

The princess silences her girlfriend with a kiss. No more pressing questions, and no more painful answers. Ty Lee's lips taste intoxicating, and Azula has been deprived of their sweetness for far too long. She allows herself to melt into the acrobat's body, her hands exploring the soft skin and curves she loves so much. She slides her hand up the acrobat's dress and runs her fingers along the waist-band of her panties. Ty Lee shudders underneath her, and the princess wants nothing more than to feel this carnal pleasure.

Another sudden knock at the door ruins Azula's feeble attempt at fucking her girlfriend.

"Can't I just get a little bit of privacy around here for once?" Azula hisses, and Ty Lee leans away from her touch to sit on the other side of the bed. "What the hell do you want?"

The door opens slowly and one of the bodyguards pokes his head through. "Your time is up, Lady Ty Lee. Fire Lord Zuko said we have to limit the amount of time people can visit the princess."

"Yes—um I'll be right there!" Ty Lee shouts, straightening her dress and smoothing down her hair.

The door closes again and the acrobat lets out a sigh.

"We're not done talking," She says with a pointed finger, she is still visibly pissed at Azula. "Next time there aren't going to be any distractions you can hide behind."

"You mean my captivating face and my incredibly delicious body? Because I'm pretty sure I'll still have both of those things."

"No—yes, I mean—ugh I have to go!" Ty Lee leaps from her bed without so much as a goodbye kiss, and makes her way towards the door.

"I'll be here," Azula says sarcastically as the door slams behind the acrobat.

Azula decides that now is a good time to take a shower, a cold one at that.

* * *

><p>"Why do you have to leave so suddenly?" Zuko asks as he watches his fiancé curiously from their bed.<p>

"I just need to leave this place for a day. I feel…trapped here. Now I finally know what Azula was always talking about—" She hesitates, frantically filling her bag with clothes and overnight toiletries. "Anyway, I just need to get away."

"For just one day? Because it looks like you are packing for the month."

"Well you never know what might come up. I may spill food on my shirt and need to throw on another one. Or I might drop an ice cream cone all over my shoes and a need different pair of heels. I'd rather be prepared for anything than under prepared."

"Okay..."Zuko scratches his head, feeling dizzy from watching her dart all over their room as she packs her belongings. "An ice cream cone?"

"What?" She asks half listening, she's breathing heavily and feeling disgustingly out of shape.

"Never mind," He mutters, shaking his head. "May I ask where you are going?"

Ty Lee pauses to decide if she should or shouldn't bring her entire make up bag.

"I'm visiting Mai," She says simply as if it should be assumed.

"Ty Lee, you are aware of the fact that you haven't seen her in _years_ right?" He asks with a sigh as he flips through the thick stack of paper contracts on his lap. The perks of being a Fire Lord. "Does she even know you're coming to visit her?"

"Not exactly," She says quickly. "However, with the news about Azula I think she'll be understanding about everything."

"So this is about Azula," Zuko states, blindly signing a paper without reading what it was for. "Did your visit with her earlier today go that horribly wrong?"

"No—no to both of those things," She answers, her voice tainted with annoyance. "I'm fine, I just need some space."

Space.

It seems like Ty Lee has needed a lot of that lately.

"Do you need some of our guards to escort you there?"

"No, I'll walk alone if that's okay. I could use the exercise anyway. I'll be back by tomorrow!" Ty Lee tells him, throwing the last item into her bag. "—morning," She adds quickly, hoisting the luggage over her shoulder.

"I'll miss you," He says sweetly and Ty Lee swallows the lump in her throat.

"I'll miss you too."

She makes a point to kiss him goodbye, and she heads out into the Fire Nation's humid, evening air.

Zuko realizes that bringing Azula to the palace was a mistake.

* * *

><p>"Wow, it's been a while," Mai says with as much surprise she can put into her typically monotone voice. The acrobat is standing at her front door with a pained expression on her face. She has a gigantic bag hung around her shoulders, and Mai automatically assumes she must be homeless. "Are you okay? I thought you dropped off the face of the earth."<p>

"Yeah, I know," Ty Lee gives her a pleading look. "I have a lot of things to apologize for, and I don't expect you to give me a chance but—"

"No, by all means come in," She says with a defeated sigh and motions for Ty Lee to follow her inside. "I could use some drama in my life again."

She leads the acrobat from the foyer to her living room. The house is small, yet luxurious and in one of the better parts of town. It was one of the few things Mai made a mental note to actually thank her parents for. Now it's also apparently within walking distance to the Fire Nation palace.

"So what's going on with you?" She asks, motioning for her to sit on the couch. "You wouldn't be here unless you had a good reason."

"A lot…I'm honestly not sure where to even begin," The acrobat scratches her head, and Mai is pouring her a glass of wine.

"Do you need a place to stay? Because it looks like you packed your whole wardrobe with you."

"No, that's not it," Ty Lee crosses her legs. "I think I just got carried away with packing."

"Here," Mai says, handing her the glass. "You have plenty of time to update me on things. I was just planning on drinking myself to death tonight, so we might as well enjoy each other's company."

"Yeah," Ty Lee says, taking her first sip. "Okay, let's talk."

The wine is sweet on her tongue, and by the time she finishes her third glass Mai knows everything.

"That is really fucked up." Mai says slowly, taking in all the information the acrobat spilled to her. "You two never cease to completely destroy everything you both touch."

"I know—I know," Ty Lee says shaking her head. "I'm really screwed. But you know what? I absolutely deserve everything, especially because I left you. We both left you."

"You didn't leave me. You just had to make a decision. And to be honest, I knew what you both were up to from the moment I heard you were dating Zuko. I just didn't care enough to stop it, because I kind of wanted to see all three of you burn in hell."

"Before I went through with it, I asked you if you still loved him," Ty Lee whispers, holding her wine glass to her heart. She's clearly drunk, and Mai is trying her hardest not to smile. "I wanted to make sure, because I wouldn't have pursued Zuko if you still had feelings for him."

"I didn't and still don't, but that doesn't make it okay. You're literally letting Azula ruin your life and his. Plus, she almost died a few days so I don't think you're really that great for her either."

"I know," Ty Lee tells her sadly, the harshness of Mai's words numbed by the alcohol. "I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry."

"I forgive you. I think you're punishment is great enough with this giant mess you have to deal with," Mai shifts in her chair as she opens the second bottle of wine. "So what are you going to do?"

Ty Lee holds out her glass as Mai refills it. She really shouldn't drink anymore. She doesn't want a nasty hangover in the morning, but she's never been the best at knowing her limits.

"That's why I came here, Mai. I need your support and wisdom. Azula and Zuko are both really unreliable in that area. Just tell me what I need to do, and I'll do it."

"Well no shit, they were raised by the same messed up parents," Mai laughs a genuine laugh. The alcohol did wonders on loosening her up. "If I was you, I would just leave them both. Move away, change your name, maybe adopt a few cats and get a haircut—I don't know. Azula will continue to be bat shit insane no matter what, and Zuko…well you don't love him at all. So why put yourself through all that for such a predictable outcome?"

"Because I promised her I'd do this," Ty Lee whines theatrically and Mai stifles a laugh. If only this conversation could be recorded. "And I'm really in love with her."

"That's not always enough," Mai tells her, moving to sit next to her on the sofa. " You _have_ to let it go."

"I think I just might," Ty Lee agrees slowly, taking a huge gulp of her wine in contemplation. "In fact, I will. I'm really going to try."

Liquid courage at it's finest.

"Good," Mai says, patting her on the back. "And I'll always be there for you each time you inevitably go back to Azula."

Ty Lee shoots her a glare, and finishes her glass.

"I won't speak to her ever again. You just watch," The acrobat slurs and Mai sighs for what seems to be the fifth time that evening.

"If you say so," is her response to her clearly inebriated friend. "But I guarantee you'll be back in bed with her tonight."

If there was one thing she is certain of, it's that Ty Lee and Azula have their claws in each other so deep that they will take their relationship to the grave. Literally speaking of course, because one of them is bound to kill the other with the way things seem to be going.

"That's the last thing I'm going to do, Mai."

* * *

><p>Ty Lee disturbs Azula's sleep for the second time that day.<p>

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Azula shrieks, as Ty Lee tries to cover her mouth with her hands. "How did you get into my room?"

"The window," Ty Lee whispers plainly, straddling the princess on her bed. "Shhhhh."

"Are you drunk right now?" Azula asks, simply confused as to what is happening. "Because you reek of booze."

"No," Ty Lee snaps, rolling her eyes. "I talked to Mai tonight."

Azula pushes the acrobat off of her, so she can breathe without smelling alcohol.

"Congratulations," She is clearly irritated. "But you know, those two things aren't mutually exclusive."

"She told me to leave you," Ty Lee admits sadly, parting the covers to snuggle up next to the princess.

"Oh yeah? How is that going?"

"Really well," Ty Lee lets out a few drunken hiccups, burying her head in Azula's lap. "Well, goodnight, princess."

"Wait! You can't sleep here—" Azula hisses, trying to push Ty Lee off of her.

But the acrobat doesn't budge, and Azula soon gives up.

For the first night in years, they sleep side by side.


End file.
